Letting Go


Have you ever wondered why you hold onto emotional and physical pain longer than needed?  There is a belief that we create and maintain problems to give us a sense of identity – to define who we are – to give us purpose.

Do you know of anyone who creates problems and then swoops in to save the day? Or someone who creates problems to then play the role of victim for sympathy and attention?

These behaviors, whether in ourselves or around us are due to the need to replay our past mistakes like a broken record in our minds which in turn builds feelings of shame and regret.  Carrying these burdens dictates the actions we take in the now.  In addition, we hold onto worry and frustration about the future creating unnecessary stress.  Stress has been linked to numerous health issues and the majority of us live with this fabricated stress every day treating is as our normal state.Letting Go

We all know that if we put a little energy to something we get a little out… the same holds true for letting go.  By letting just a little of your past and future regrets, you obtain a little peace in your life but if you let go of a lot, then you will bring in a lot of peace.  More peace equals less stress!  Isn’t the formula we all desire?

Here is a sampling of actions you can take today to begin to let go of the pain and allow peace into your mind and body:

  1. Meditation/Yoga
  2. Physical Activity
  3. Learn a new skill
  4. List out your accomplishments and continue to add to the list daily
  5. Focus your energy on that which you CAN control and not that which you CAN’T control
  6. Engage in a creative project (painting, crafts, gardening, book club)
  7. Write a letter to whomever you hold your anger for, then burn the letter
  8. Take responsibility for you could have done better
  9. Wear a rubberband on your wrist and pull it every time you begin to obsess on the angry thoughts
  10. Have gratitude for the positive memories and know that life is a learning experience
  11. Visualize how you were before the event and know that you now can be that again
  12. Take deep breaths and focus on your breath when you feel angry

BackpackerAnd lastly, fill a backpack with rocks representing your past hurts and take a hike.  When you are ready, remove one rock at a time, naming the rock with a specific memory or person or event that has brought you pain and release it.  You may find that you have packed more rocks than actual pains!

Letting go allows you to make space in your life for new and exciting adventures, experiences, loves, memories.  Letting go brings you inner peace and reduces stress.  Letting go allows you to view the world with new eyes ready to create, build and live that life you have always dreamt about.

ACTION STEP #1 ~ Utilize the Lesson Evaluation Form and evaluate yourself regarding your ability to Let Go.  Where can you choose differently in these areas?

ACTION STEP #2 ~ What is one step you can take to increase your level of motivation when it comes to those things you say you want? Write it down and take action.

ACTION STEP #3 ~ Take Action! Looking for a change, click on the link to the right and check out the blogging system solution.

As you read this, TODAYRIGHT NOW can be one of those DECISION POINTS. Today can be the day you discover your potential. Today can be the day you spread your wings and start SOARING! All it takes is DEFINING the VISION, DISCIPLINING the FOCUS and ACHIEVING POSITIVE LEGACY!

Build on Belief ~ Go Big Today!

Notice – Act – Navigate – Create – Yield Results

If you are ready to take your personal growth to the next level, JOIN US TODAY!

Curious how the coaching process works? CONTACT US for a complimentary, introductory coaching appointment to experience the value of coaching.

Interested in growing your audience through blogging…check out the link to the right and WATCH IT NOW.’

Advertisements

Forgiveness


forgiveness

Ask anyone you meet if they have ever been hurt by another.  You will hear a resounding YES! Now, ask how they handled the hurt and you will hear many different stories about resentment, revenge, internalizing, depression, anger, and sadness but few stories about forgiveness.  Why?  Why would anyone hold onto pain if they don’t have to?  What is it in our nature to harbor ill feelings or hold onto past pain?  Studies show that holding onto emotional pain transpires into physical illness.  Dis-ease has been linked to our mental well-being.  If we have the power to heal ourselves, where do we start?

Some call it letting go; others call it forgiving.  Not only forgiving others, but  forgiving ourselves.  Forgiving someone doesn’t mean denying the other person’s responsibility for hurting you.  Forgiving someone isn’t excusing the act.  Forgiveness is a practice for compassion, empathy, kindness and peace.

Forgiveness is letting go of the need for revenge and releasing negative thoughts of bitterness and resentment.

For some people, the beginning stage or a beginning stage of forgiveness is anger. They feel angry at someone who did or said something to them in a way that brought about harm or pain or sadness or disappointment. We feel stung and pained.  Sometimes surprised. Burned. Crushed. Upset. Stunned.

The anger we hold exists as a response to pain that has been inflicted or that we feel has been inflicted on us. We can stay stuck in this angry place for a long time. In fact, some people stay there forever. And I angerdon’t have to tell you that being stuck in anger is not fun. In fact, it can suck the life out of a person. It can be all consuming in the most negative way.

Holding pain inside is a breeding ground for negative feelings.  Negative feelings in turn come out through anger, resentment, and the desire to seek vengeance.  Negative feelings also keep us from enjoying the present; turning into depression and anxiety ultimately sabotaging those relationships we hold so dear.

Most people hold in these feelings, the pain, the anger, keeping the negativity and the poison inside, allowing it to grow and fester and expand. The strength of the anger is in direct proportion to the amount of pain, of anger, that we hold inside. Don’t get me wrong, anger is not always a bad thing. We need to feel it in order to eventually let it go. Trying to hide the anger or stuff it way down or dismiss it is not going to make it go away. In fact, it is going to make it worse. Because it is only once we allow ourselves to feel the anger and acknowledge what it feels like, and that we feel it in the first place, we can set the stage for letting it go. And only through letting it go can we truly forgive. The opposite of letting it go is holding it tight and allowing it to eat us alive.  The opposite of letting it go is withholding love. It is holding on to little complaints and little grievances one at a time. Maybe slowly, but certainly surely, we start to become toxic around this issue. And this issue can and often does spawn off additional other issues. The more this cycle continues, the more your growth is stunted. Your dreams are thwarted. Your energy is sapped and sucked out until you have little left for yourself or anyone else.

Practicing forgiveness is a commitment to change.  Moving away from a victim role and taking a more proactive and positive stance on your well-being will move you toward a more peaceful and enjoyable life.

forgiveness2

Sometimes an act seems unforgivable.  Place yourself in their shoes.  Consider how you would have reacted or behaved if it were you. Accept that we are all human and have occasional imperfections. With any decision to make a change, journaling is an easy way to document and reflect on your feelings, which will help move you toward your goal.

Forgiveness is within you, there is no guarantee it will change the offender or future acts and therefore it is important for you to know that forgiving someone may not give you the immediate outcome you desire – this is an internal practice that will ultimately change your external world – it is a personal practice and not a means to change someone else.

ACTION STEP #1 ~ Utilize the Lesson Evaluation Form and evaluate yourself regarding forgiveness and assess where these might be stopping you!

ACTION STEP #2 ~ Determine who must be forgiven.

ACTION STEP #3 ~ Take Action! Go to those that need to be forgiven…….and remember to look at starting with yourself first!

As you read this, TODAYRIGHT NOW can be one of those DECISION POINTS. Today can be the day you discover your potential. Today can be the day you spread your wings and start SOARING! All it takes is DEFINING the VISION, DISCIPLINING the FOCUS and ACHIEVING POSITIVE LEGACY!

Build on Belief ~ Go Big Today!

Notice – Act – Navigate – Create – Yield Results

If you are ready to take your personal growth to the next level, JOIN US TODAY!

Curious how the coaching process works? CONTACT US for a no charge, introductory coaching appointment to experience the value of coaching.